


Brothers Forever

by WildCard4505



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Leo is a jerk, One Shot, References to Depression, Sad with a Happy Ending, even I dont understand it, mikey is smarter than he looks, pov jumps all over the place, sad raphael
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 19:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21021182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildCard4505/pseuds/WildCard4505
Summary: With fight after fight Raph doubts his position on the team and if he has anything to offer. Leo and Donnie are painfully oblivious and Leo just aggravates the situation. That's means it up to one brother and one best friend to help.





	Brothers Forever

**Author's Note:**

> edit: 5/10/20

“I’m going topside” He stomped down to the lair exit.

“No your not Raph, we’re not done here” Raph grumbled but didn’t stop walking.

“Stick it in your shell Leo” He pushed past the turnstiles.

“Raph!” Leo started after him.

“Just let the big baby go” Donnie said from on the couch. Mikey frowned at his comic book next to him. He knew Raph just needed to cool-off, he’s been doing it since they were kids, it’s nothing new.

He’d pop-up to the surface, ‘bust a few heads’, and be back in time for dinner.

“I don’t get why he has to just stomp-off all the time” Leo complained. Mikey sighed, He got it to some extent. Living with 2 people who are constantly working on something or another, it makes his head hurt. Second hand stress. It’s even more annoying when all three of his brothers decided to pick on his intelligence.

‘I know I’m not the smartest out of the group why do they have to rub it in’. Leo and Donnie were going back and forth about how annoying Raph was. He didn’t want or need to hear this. Mikey got up, comic books in hand, and started towards his room. He didn’t say a word, which he knew was extremely out of character for him, and revealed in the new found silence as his brother looked at him confused.

* * *

Another loud crash, another trashcan down. Raph couldn’t find anything going on which was incredibly frustrating. I mean this is New York how can there not be something going on. Crash, that might have been a satellite disc.

‘And now I’m proving them right but throwing a tantrum’. He sighed and sat on the roof. He mentally apologized to whoever’s satellite disc that was.

"That’s all I’ve been doing is proving them right, stomping-out, breaking things, I’m acting like a three year old.” He put his head in his hands. He had to get out, it’s almost suffocating in the lair sometimes. He knew every time he left they probably complained about him. I mean he would too if he were in their position.

“Hey hothead, whatcha do this time” He smirked, right on cue.

“None of your business hockey sticks” Casey laughed and sat down next to Raph. Somehow Casey always knew how cool him down even if he didn’t know what he was mad about. Casey understood him that way, but there was even things Casey didn’t know about. Casey took one look at his friend and his smile turned downward.

”Seriously dude whats up?” Raph sneered.

“Nothing.”

“There’s literally a trail of destruction to this rooftop. Somethings up” Raph sighed. It was kinda annoying how well Casey could read him.

“Eh just my brothers being annoying again” Not a complete lie. That was part of it.

“Nothing some vigilante work won’t fix” He stood up and swirled his sais. Casey gave him one more concerned look before pulling out his hockey stick.

“Now you’re speaking my language”. Welp that’s one more conversation avoided. And who knows, maybe this will actually help. 

* * *

Mikey was making dinner when he heard Leo start yelling again. That means one thing, Raph's back. In time for dinner no less, he called it. It doesn’t seem like Raph was yelling back which is kinda concerning but maybe his face is doing all the talking. Mikey giggled imagining Raph's glare, it was funny when it wasn’t directed at you.

“You can’t just keep ignoring me!” Leo yelled walking in the kitchen.

Raph was walking in front of him “Watch me” he said simply and sat down at the table with a magazine. Mikey tilted his head, Raph didn’t sound angry just done. Done with the yelling, which means Leo provoked him. Probably the second he stepped into lair. What even was the original fight about anyway?

He plated the food “Dinner everyone” he yelled purposely stepping between Leo and Raph to give them the food. No yelling at the table. Leo finally sat down and it seemed that it was the end of it. Donnie walked in and noticed the tension between the two brothers. He sighed and sat down and Mikey followed. Luckily Master Splinter didn’t come in today. He must be meditating instead. If he did, he’d probably give some kind of lecture about being kind to one another. Mikey didn’t think Raph could handle that right now. After dinner Raph got up and started to leave.

“Seriously what’s going on this time!” Donnie yelled. They were so close too, Mikey face palmed. Seriously was everyone blind to social cues but him. 

“Nothing Donnie, Raph’s just pouting again cause he lost an argument” Leo was obviously still annoyed. Raph clenched his fists and Mikey prepared to have to be peacekeeper. At least Donnie looked like he regretted asking the question. Raph just kept walking however. He left to his room and slammed the door. Leo huffed and went into the dogo, probably to train. Mikey however shared a concerned look with Donnie. He was finally getting how weird this was. Raph never walked away from a fight. Something was up. 

* * *

Raph sat in his room staring up at the ceiling. He wasn’t mad just upset. He even tried not to say anything snarky back to Leo but it didn’t work. What did they want from him? He was sick of fighting with his brother, with his brothers. They were supposed to be fighting the Shredder and the Kraang not each other.

‘That probably the most hypocritical thing I’ve ever thought’. Him wanting to avoid a fight, he chuckled halfheartedly.

‘I’m always the one to start it, me and my big mouth’ He sighed.

‘Maybe they’d work better if I didn’t pick fights with them all the time’ Raph's eyes seemed to bore holes into the ceiling.

“Maybe they’d be better I wasn’t there to drag them down” He said. Saying it out loud made his throat constrict.

‘No they need me, I’m the best fighter we got’ But Leo’s been training more and more, it wouldn’t be long until he surpassed him in skill. Did he even bring anything to the team besides anger. Even Mikey has his thing, bring everyone up when things go bad. He always seems to know when they need a break. Raph covered his face with his hands.

“They really don’t need me do they”.

Raph didn't feel angry or upset, just resigned. 

* * *

Mikey was getting worried, Raph was leaving the lair more and more often. Even Leo was starting to see something was wrong. During patrols and training everything seemed normal. Except Mikey noticed how the teasing seemed to be forced, like it was a cover. He noticed his scowls seemed to be directed to himself as much as the enemy. It was bothering him.

Both Leo and Donnie were concerned every time he went topside but they didn’t notice things like that. They figured he was just meeting with Casey. Maybe they were right and he was seeing things that weren't there.

Raph walked through said a quick “hey” to everyone and when straight into his room. Mikey frowned. No something wasn’t right, and he needed to find out what. 

* * *

Mikey jumped from rooftop to rooftop looking for Casey. He texted him asking to meet up, Casey seemed a little weirded out but said yes. Now he following Casey’s directions to some random rooftop. Wow this sounds sketchy. He made it to the roof top and saw Casey leaning against a door with his hockey stick waiting.

“Hey Mikey what’s up?” Casey seemed genuinely confused. It wasn't too often he was meeting with a turtle besides Raph. Mikey didn’t know how to ask, if his hunch was wrong then he’d be worrying everyone over nothing. But Raph’s worth the risk.

“Have you noticed Raph’s seemed a little off” Something simple, to get a feel for the conversation. To see how open Casey would be about this. He wasn’t expecting Casey’s eyes to widen and for him to drop his hockey stick.

* * *

It was night and Raph had gone back out. He had another fight with Leo. He said he’d been slacking with his training. If only he knew how often he sat hitting his punching bag every night to get stronger. So he wasn’t left behind. This time he yelled back though, really yelled. The argument flipped from subject to subject. At some point it had gotten to his anger, then just as Sensei had walked in. Raph growled and kicked a trash can in the alley.

_ “Can’t you be anything but angry” _

Raph punched the wall.

_ “Stop being so dramatic about everything” _

He slid down onto the ground. God there’s so much stuff he wanted to yell into his face, So many things he could have said to stop the barrage of words.

_ “I can’t believe how childish your being!” _

He closed his eyes. What did he even say back? Probably nothing good. What if Leo was sitting the same way he was. A pang of guilt rang through his chest.

_ “Why don’t you train and do something useful”. _

He was useful, he did so much for this team and all he gets is yelled at. Why is it only the bad things that get noticed.

‘Maybe I just don’t do good things’ He thought.

_ “I’ve had enough of you sour attitude” _

His eyes widened. He’s had enough of him, “He didn’t mean it, we were both just mad” Like usual, Cause he can’t ever hold his tongue. The fight kept replaying in head, then other fights. He stuck his head hoping it would make the memories stop.

_ “Big baby” _

_“Hot-head” _

_“Stupid”. _

Raph gave-up he felt tears streaming down his face.

“I’m pathetic” he said quietly. 

And Raphael broke. 

* * *

Casey looked at him with wide eyes.

“Look if it wasn’t my place to ask I’m so-” Casey’s face suddenly switched to relief.

“I’ve noticed” He said and Mikey stopped talking.

“But Raph’s pretty good at manipulating a conversation if he wants to” Mikey thought back, that was true.

“By the time you realize what he's doing it’s too late to ask him if he’s okay” Mikey was listening intently.

“He’s started avoiding me now” Casey looked at the ground.

“He’s leaving the lair more often” Mikey said

“We hardly see him apart from patrols and training” Casey seemed to putting a puzzle together in his head.

“We have to find him” He said with urgency picking-up his stick. Suddenly Mikey’s T-phone rang.

“Leo?” Mikey said.

“Have you seen Raph?” Leo sounded panicked.

“No, I haven’t seen him” He heard something that sounded suspiciously like a curse come from the other line.

“What happened?” Mikey said suspiciously. Casey looked confused so Mikey put the phone on speaker and signaled Casey to be quiet. If anything was too personal he’d take it off immediately though. Mikey had a feeling this was bad.

“We-we had another fight, He just- was leaving right after training everyday, I told him to take his training more seriously,” Casey scowled. He knew Raph trained hard almost every day.

“And it just escalated” Leo sounded ashamed. That wasn’t a good sign.

“What did you say?” Mikey ground out. Leo repeated the fight and for the first time Mikey yelled at one of his brothers. Casey looked scared as Mikey Yelled and lectured his older brother.

“I’m going to find Raph.” He said without argument “and you better have one damn good apology ready when we get back” more silence over the phone. Mikey hung-up and threw his phone.

‘I’m acting like Raph’ he thought. He picked-up his phone and stuck it in his belt.

“We have to find Raph now” Casey said. They ran down the rooftops. Casey managing to keep up.

“Why do you think Raph’s acting like this” Mikey asked reluctantly. Despite everything he didn’t know what exactly was wrong just that something had been bothering his big brother. Casey however seemed to understand at least some of what was happening. He frowned he stopped running swallowing big breaths of air. He seemed to be arguing with himself.

“I had- a friend. They were the best, a good hockey player too.” Mikey just listened. “Always said he’d make it big time. But things- things got bad with his parents. His mom, always yelled at him. He never told me what I could gather it wasn’t good. His dad would try and cheer him up best he could though.” Casey took a deep breath.

“He started skipping out on practices, doing the minimal amount of work at school. I talked to him and he told me- _ “Even if I did do everything right they’d always find something I messed up so what’s the point of trying at all” _ ” Casey frowned. Mikey was staring wide eyed.

“They had a medical term _ ‘Depression’ _ ” He said the word with venom.

“They made us have an assembly after-” Casey shook his head. Mikey felt tears gather. He had to find his brother now. He started running looking down at alleyway, Casey was barely keeping up but looked determined.

‘That can’t be happening to my brother’.

_ “You’re a great guy Mikey” _

_“I’m handsome again!”_

_ “Time to bash some bots!”. _

Raph’s always so confident. That can’t be what’s happening. Mikey was moving so fast he almost missed the spot of green in the alleyway below him. He yelled to Casey that he found him. When he jumped into the alleyway he noticed several things.

The first thing was the dents in the concrete wall behind his brother, Then he noticed the red on his brothers knuckles. Finally Raph seemed defeated, he was slouched, head hung and arms on his knees. It was a position that didn’t seem like Raph, not his strong brother. Mikey made noise as he moved so Raph knew he was there. But Raph already knew, there was no point. Casey jumped down next and sucked in a breath. This was all too familiar to him.

“Go away Leo” Raph said. Mikey sucked in a breath, he even sounded defeated. Casey stepped forward.

“Not Leo dude” Mikey nodded but realized Raph couldn’t see him.

“Yeah it’s Mikey, y’know your awesome little bro” Mikey tried to sound confident but this was out of his league. Raph cursed under his breath although only Casey could hear. He quickly sat up stealthy wiping off of looked suspiciously like tear tracks. He managed to turn his hands just slightly so they couldn’t see his knuckles. And he smiled. Or smirked more like it. Mikey looked dumbfounded at how quickly he seemed to pulled himself together.

“Shot did I miss dinner or something?” He said normally. Mikey stared, he put on a smile so quickly. If he wasn’t looking he’d think nothing was wrong. But he was looking, and so he saw the hint of desperation and sadness in his eyes.

Mikey was snapped out of it when he heard Casey hiccup. Raph eyes widened as he looked at his best friend. Casey was crying a hand over his face.

“I’m so dumb” Raph looked confused

“W-what do ya mean-” Casey hugged Raph who didn’t know what to do. Mikey would have laughed at his dumbfounded face if this was in ANY other situation. But now he could feel tears finally slip from his eyes. Raph looked even more worried when he saw Mikey was crying.

“Don’t you dare leave me you jerk” Casey said as cried and Raph froze.

“Casey what are talking about I’m-” Mikey knew what was coming. What he was going to say and he scowled despite his tears.

“No more lies” He said cutting him off. Raph froze again and started shaking.

Casey hugged him harder “We’re here for you” He said.

Mikey joined in the hug too “And we always will be bro” Mikey added. Mikey and Casey felt it when Raph let go. He went limp into the embrace. They sat there comforting each other and they decided not to comment about how Casey's shoulder was wet when they broke apart. Raph tried to wipe the tear tracks away embarrassed by his break down.

“People don’t cry because they’re weak, they cry because they’ve been strong for too long” Casey said and Raph looked-up at him and laughed. A real laugh, one that seemed to be ripped out of him without consent.

“That is the cheesiest thing I’ve heard all night and I just went through a ‘we’ll always be there for you’ hug”. Casey laughed too and Mikey joined. He realized how cliche this whole situation was. Raph got up and smiled lightly.

“Thanks though” He said. Raph seemed almost lighter in that moment. “Mikey looked at his T-phone and noticed the army of missed calls and messages.

“What's up?” Casey asked seeing his concerned face.

“I think if we don’t get home soon, They’re gonna lose it.” Mikey said dumbfounded.

”What?” Raph questioned and Mikey turned the phone to him.

Raph huffed a laugh seeing the missed calls and messages. Raph didn’t expect them to care that much. He checked his own phone and it was pretty much the same. Most messages were form Leo freaking out and apologizing, Donnie seemed to be going through the cycle of figuring it out. It started with messages about why Leo was losing it and ended with messages that practically mirrored Leo’s. Casey put a hand on Raph’s shoulder.

“They want you to come home, Those goof balls need you” Raph nodded and smirked.

“I’m calling this payback for Lamenardo’s dumb attitude this week” Raph jumped up the wall on to the roof. Mikey turned to Casey and fist bumped him. Before Mikey jumped up Casey called him back.

“Things aren’t going to be perfect from now on, this might happen again” Casey scowled.

“Let's just keep an eye on him okay?” Mikey nodded enthusiastically. Of course this was his brother he was talking about.

“You slow-pokes coming” Raph yelled down.

“Hold your horses!” Casey yelled and ran up a nearby fire escape. 

* * *

Raph soon realized he looked terrible. For one, his knuckles were covered in blood from hitting the wall.

‘Yeah that was a genius move’ and he was pretty sure he still had tear tracks on his face. Casey managed to have some rags (What kinda stuff does he keep with him) so he managed to wash his face. They convinced him to tell Donnie about his knuckles so they didn’t get infected though. It was a fair point. After Casey and Mikey confirmed that he looked slightly put together, he walked into the lair.

The first one to notice him was Donatello. He jumped up and pulled Raph into his lab. Mikey and Casey left in the living room.

“Uh Donnie?” He started checking him over for injuries and gasped when he saw his knuckles. 

“I knew you would get yourself injured, What did you do this to yourself?!” Donnie was already in the process of cleaning it. Raph laughed nervously.

“yeah turns out a wall doesn’t make a good punching bag” Donnie face palmed. Raph laughed at the reaction and Donnie stopped bandaging his hand.

“Hey you okay?” Raph asked. Donnie’s eyes started watering. ‘Oh geez not again’

“You haven’t laughed recently” Raph’s eyes widened. ‘He noticed too, of course he noticed he’s the genius’.

“I’m sorry” He said and Raph stopped him there.

“Hey you don’t have anything to be sorry for okay” Donnie shook his head

“But I-”

“if you say sorry again I’ll punch you, and I’m sure you don’t want me to do that after you just bandaged my hands up” Donnie laughed.

“That’s true, but... you know we care about you right” Raph sighed

“Donnie I just punched a wall, normal for me remember” he shook his head.

“You're smart enough not to punch a wall, even when you’re angry. And…” He seemed to debate whether to say something as he finished up Raph’s other hand. He was moving his hands around and smiled when he realized the bandages weren't too restrictive.

“Red fabric gets darker when it’s wet” He said and walked out of the lab leaving Raph on the chair to pull his mask off and curse. It was darker in some places, probably from him him crying. He dried it out best he could and left the lab to see Leo in the living room. _ “I don’t get why you always have to act like this” _Raph shook his head. He chuckled seeing Mikey lecturing Leo. Casey looked over to him laughed silently too. His laugh brought Leo’s attention to him. He ran up to Raph and hugged him

“I’m sorry, I’m such a bad brother and leader and you deserve better and you’re great even though you drive me off the walls and-” Raph wasn’t even following at this point.

“Leo it’s fine”

“No it’s not because I’m supposed to be the older brother and I hurt you and then you left-” Raph rolled his eyes, this was getting ridiculous

“Leo!” He apparently didn’t hear and kept rambling

“and I was so worried and- what happened to your hands! Are you okay, did you find Donnie-” he now moved from hugging to inspecting Raph’s hands. Raph heard the other laughing and shot them a glare which just made them laugh more.

Raph tried again “Leo!”.

“I’m sorry I should have been there and-”

“LEO I SWEAR IF SAY SORRY TO ME ONE MORE TIME!” He finally stopped “Thank you” Raph said taking his hand back. Leo rubbed the back of his neck.

“sor-” Raph covered his mouth with his hand. Leo roze his eyebrows.

“You know I can still talk right” He said slightly muffled.

“It stopped you from apologizing didn’t it” Raph removed his hand.

Leo shrugged “I guess ya”.

“Now you play a game of hockey on the machine with me and I’ll call us even ‘kay” Raph smirked.

“You’re on”. And then it was a race to the hockey game. It was quite the happy ending, but the second Raph left, Mikey and Casey stood in front of Leo and Donnie.

“Hurt him again and you’re dead” They said in complete unison, the background going dark. They gulped and nodded. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is kinda pointless fluff and angst which not usually what I write but here we are so


End file.
